Never yet leave my heart since forever

Sounds soo gross huh? haha..

Well, I had a big crush with this charming gentleman on the first semester of my 2nd year at my uni...and trust me i still do (blushed)

The story begun when my distance kuzi has introduced him to me. I don't have much information about this guy but as far that I knew, he was one of the BFF of my kuzi.

So, there it goes starting with smses, numerous chats on the phone calls each nights and days and not to forget about the dates that we had.

I would describe him as a very soft spoken person, very lovable, charming, smart and humorous as he will always made me laugh-lotsa laughter when he was around.. And also he has a very deep voice that I found it too sexy and I would love to hear it everyday (like a psycho maniac haha)

At that time, he just finished his study in broadcasting and just started his job at a company that a bit far from my vicinity. He was also actively involved in theater at night. Very workaholic indeed. I found it was so sweet when he would come all over from town immediately after he's done with his theater thingy just to see me. Always had supper at the mamak's stall or anywhere that we can have chit chats even though he seldom heard me talking like I used to talked through the phone. I would be super shy when I'm in front of the person that I adore the most. Even though I don't talk that much, and I knew that he was freaking tired working from morning up to middle of the night and still he will do the talking and jokes.. Thanks darl..Still remember that we had insufficient cash but still want to hang out. We will tong tong so to make the date happen.

We never declare as a couple but yeah, I've been treated very special. Lotsa special moments that I couldn't describe more as it will be forever to list down.

After graduation I was busy looking for a job here and there and I've gone back to my hometown too. It was very tiring indeed try to adapt with real working environment. And so we lost contact.

I can't remember how it started, we managed to contacted each other again and this time was fun indeed to hang out as no limitation especially money as me and him working already. We met several times when I went down to town. Had fun together and concentrating to each other also. Sometimes, attached too much to each other is no good. Lotsa emotions involved then will leads to fights and we had lost contact again.

Both of us moved on into the next level

But still, I found that, I'm still not over him yet

Well, here we go again.. After a very long break we had connect to each other again. But this time I hope we can stay as a friend, only friends as I'm too afraid that I will lose you again. It's a big NO for 3rd time.

At some moments, I noticed that it will be lotsa 'but' when I'm back with you. Felt that i always in this gray area which I do not know when it will be crystal clear. Yeah, it did brings me down at some point. After a very long thought, with a very heavy heart, I think the best is to let you go.. this time is for real, for good for both of us.

Dearest V,

You will always be the very best companion that I ever had.

Better to let you go now rather than soon I foresee the bad sides of you which will leads you into my trash bin which I don't fancy to do so as it will be forever.

Something always brings me back to you but it never takes too long.

Yes I will be mourning but will be recover which I-don't-know-when.

When I love someone, it IS hard to let you go. But when I truly love you and I want what is best for you and if that means letting you go, then that IS what I should do. I'll be in pain, I'll feel lost, but my love for you is greater than the sorrow for myself. It isn't easy, but if I truly love you and not just the way being love with you makes ME feel, then I'll find the strength in that to do right by you even if it hurts me. (belit2 aih!)

So long..

Good Bye..

(sob) :(