Love Hate Relationship

I used to hate my current car..

So many complaints I threw and usually I will exaggerate ~ this car is small, I don't like the color, I don't like the sounds when the engine's 'roar' and list of complaints goes on and on and on.

It was all because of him. :(

Last 5 years (or more) I used to have much more bigger car. An elegant Silver Metallic car. That was my 2nd car. A lot of sentimental values which one of it was when my dada sponsored big dimes for the down payment. No complains on the performance. Full satisfaction.

How do I get my current car?

It started after a year I've owned my car, I've got married. So usually-mainly my ex hubby will sent and fetched me to/from the office. He will drove me here and there where ever I want. But came to one stage, he won't let me even touched the steering. I was like "What's the matter with you, SOAB?!". But I kept mum as I don't want to create any scenes.

The maximum limit that I can't tolerate when he started asking me to hitched a ride with my office mates. I did an investigation and got to know that he was having affairs with several girls which he needs to send-fetch-send-fetch each of them. Like super idiot right. We had a very big-brutal fights, can say every single day. Yeah, we fought a lot up to certain level i felt like want to puke on his face. So one day, he proposed for me to buy a new car. Much more smaller but for the sake of I-need-my-own-transport, I agreed.

The craziest part was, when I have to pay for both cars and even the roadtax-insurance. Like so F insane! Then I decided to stop paying for the car he was using until one day I decided to let go that car with a very heavy heart. I called up the bank and asked them to repossessed my car. He was F berserk yet I felt relief but I cried a lot. I swear :'(

But who knows things changed..

It started with hates towards the new car but now, I really thank god that I bought my current car. (Thanks to you A**H***!)

Why?

When I moved down to KL, I brought so many things ~can say everything I've owned even I can't barely see what was inside the car (each roadblocks I failed) . Clothes, comforter, up to vase and so on. Oh ya, not to forget to my dear kittie. I once had a White Persian Cat which he followed me everywhere. Yeah, I brought him too :) (including his litter box too! ~blugheeh!)..

You see, small cars can't carry too many things as the car might be damage/ broken. But mine, still in a very good condition (and even I can drift summore)

When I moved back to my parents's mansion, i got a job in Island which I have to travel about 1 1/2 hours daily. Usually much more longer hours as everyday regardless morn or eve, there will be bumper to bumper jam!

It has both Auto&Manual gears which if I turn on my lazy mode, then I will just use the Auto. If I would like to speed then I will use the manual. :D

Fuel? Not a problem. This car has been designed to save fuels. I just need to refill my car tank half dimes than others did. Kewl, ait!

I have pals that using the same car like I am. They faced lotsa problems with theirs. Their cars in and out the workshop like zillion times.

Well, buying a car is like gambling. It's all about luck. Alhamdulillah my luck is always with cars. (Dear car, please behave!)

I don't have any problems to squeeze in into the small parking lot. Usually if there are no parking anymore, I will park whenever safe spot which other big car's drivers will envy (Bo0 h0o!~)

I once had a dream, at that time I still don't have baby yet. I dreamt that I was driving this small car, with a baby seat at the passenger's seat with a baby sat on it. That time we just finished our shopping. Just me and the baby. I can see it clearly. We were laughing, singing and very much joy.

How miracle right? Do I have super power or what (LOL)? This is the current situation me and my baby have. Every spare times i will bring my Ellie for outings. She surely happy and me and her will sing out loud together, chit chat and so on.. Oh Allah, thanks for the visions as it came true.

Everytime my Singaporean-Hongkie boss touched down to the mainland, I will always be his driver.

He: When you bought this car

Me: Guess 4-5 years already

He: Are you sure?

Me: Hmm..why boss?

He: It looks very new..Look at the bla bla bla..

Me: (Smiled from ear to ear)

I have named my car to Ellie. If I die, this car will automatically be Ellie's for FOC. That is one of the reasons why I looked after this car very deep as at least by the time Ellie can drive, it still in a perfect condition.

Moral of the story, have you ever heard about Local's saying - "Don't hate too much, might be the thing/ person that you hate will be the utmost favorable things in your life".

That's why I don't hate that much to anything/ anyone that makes me feel uneasy. I will forgive and forget as trust in God's Karma. I never Doa for bad things happen to those people that having dreadful souls (even though I know doa orang yang teraniaya sangat makbul). That is Allah's part. I keep in mind, problems between humans, lets the creator (Allah) settle it. Still, I will tune my be careful-don't trust mode for safety precaution.

On the other part, I constantly prayed that May all of the bad souls kept away from me and my love ones. Amin ~

Hang in there with me for a little while

Ellie,

Remember that we always 'marie go round' to the new housing areas?

Ibu always said,

"It's ok. One day, we will surely get one of these nice houses. Even better than this one"

Remember when Ibu was driving you to uptown/ downtown, and nice MPVs/ luxury cars passed by ibu's little car?

Ibu always said,

"It's ok. One day, we will surely get one of these nice cars. Even better than this one"

Remember when we did our window shoppings and u were eyeing on goodies that you like?

Ibu always said,

"It's ok. One day, when ibu have enough money, Ibu will buy you one. Even better than this one"

(And of course at the same time ibu will 'korek' our tabung and cut down my expenses and will surely bought it for you so that you won't feel that you are poles apart from the others that have conventional family.)

Remember when we heard people went for vacations here and there?

Ibu always said,

'It's ok. One day, we will have our nice holidays'

Ibu's no superhero but I love to be one

Ellie,

You are always be my major strength

Please stay with ibu through thick and thin

I will make sure our life will be better..soon

Bear with me for a little while

Have lotsa faiths in me

Ibu will try my very best level to not letting anyone to hurt you

Ibu loves you even more each second

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

Ya Allah, may my journey with my Ellie will be smooth even if there are obstacles, we will stick together and will be stronger for the rest of our life till the Afterlife. Besides my family, She's all that I have..

Amin

A New Phase gonna start very soon

When I was a little gal, my ambition was always to work in the office, with air condition, can dressed up with nice apparels, put on makeups, not to forget the high heals!

I have studied in Human Development/ Human Resources field when I was in Uni. Mainly studies about human and the behavior and a lil bit about the management.

But my first official job, I've started in an engineering field, some sort like price/ data analyst thingy which way too different from what I have studied earlier. But still, it's an office work, ait.. Wooho0!

For 5 years I've been there and I have realized, it was the correct time to make changes (partially due to the marriage problem I've faced and yada yada yada). (shut up will ya!)

I always wanted to change to a new environment so that I can sharpen my skills and also my interests and deflect from the current job/ experience that I had.

Allah granted my wishes - can say all of it even though in a different way, but way better than what I have expected. Alhamdulillah! (wide grin)

Currently, Yes, I am loving for what I am doing right now as a head hunter/ talent hunt/ flair finder/ recruiter or what ever that you can name it. Very much loving it. It's really suites me. Talk to various level of people, visits here and there to hunt the talented people and mainly it's all about the talking, changes of ideas, meet with new societies to wider the vicinity. It is really fascinating when I can be friends (in a sense of professionalism) with strangers all over the world and I did it~ a lot.

After almost 3 years in this field, no plan to change it to something new (asides to the current side business that I've owned).

Freshly, I got this offer to handle one big project at our plant in the Central region for half a year or more. I will need to be relocated. After lotsa Q&As within myself, I'm thinking that this would be a great prospects for me to explore new challenges and to moved to a different phase and level in my career and also in life. And also to prove that this Single Mommy is capable to do anything without any barricades. Insyaallah..

HELL to those stinky mouths with crooked teeth (and maybe already been straighten? LOL~) to much ado about nothing.

And here I am, accepting the offer.

I will be leaving soon~

Wish me luck.

Doa for me to shine

Bismillah and Amin.

Jangan Izinkan Aku Jatuh Cinta Andai Masanya Belum Tiba...

Ya Allah,
Andai masanya belum tiba,
Jangan izinkan aku untuk jatuh cinta,
Aku memohon agar Kau tunjukkan jalan,
Agar Kau tunjukkan aku tuntutun yang perlu aku lakukan,
Jauhkanlah aku daripada kemaksiatan,
Jauhkanlah aku daripada perkara yang tidak dapat memberi manfaat,
Dan jauhkan aku daripada perkara yang Engkau murkai,
Agar aku dapat menjaga diri.

Ya Allah,
Jika aku jatuh cinta,
Izinkanlah aku menyentuh hati seseorang yang hatinya tertaut pada-Mu,
Jadikanlah aku yang mencintainya kerana agama yang ada padanya,
Jika dia hilangkan agama yang ada dalam dirinya,
Maka hilanglah cintaku padanya,
Sesungguhnya, cinta yang suci itu tidak buta.

Ya Allah,
Dan jika dia mencintai aku,
Biarkanlah dia mencintai aku kerana agama itu juga,
Asalkan dia tidak lebihkan cinta kepadaku melebihi cinta kepadaMu,
Supaya cinta itu bersemi di lembayung keredhaan-Mu,
Kerna dari situ lahirlah rahmah dan mawaddah dalam rumahtangga.

Ya Allah,
Jika ini bukan masanya,
Jika ini belum saatnya,
Dan jika Kau tahu kami belum bersedia,
Selamatkan kami,
Jarakkan kami,
Pisahkan kami,
Agar kami jauh dari khilaf yang merosak izzah dan iffah,
Agar kami tak mengundang murka-MU,
Agar kami dapat lebih menjaga hati,
Agar hati menjadi yang diredhai ilahi.

Ya Allah,
Andai dia bukan untuk ku,
Andai dia bukan jodohku,
Maka berilah ganti yang lebih baik buatnya,
Berikanlah dia insan yang benar benar terbaik buat kehidupannya,
Insan yang benar-benar mampu memimpinnya ke syurga-Mu,
Dan bantulah aku untuk memperbaiki diriku,
Agar aku kukuh dalam mencari cinta-Mu.

Jangan berhenti berharap

Sejak kebelakangan nie, aku banyak terima email tentang bala bencana sana sini

Peperangan sana sini

Berita tentang keruntuhan akhlak sana sini

Murtad sana sini

Maksiat dan bermacam2 lagi impiety drives that doesn't show respect to the creator, Allah the All mighty

Malah aku banyak terima email tentang hari kiamat..

Tanda2 kecil kiamat sangat banyak dah ni..

Since beberapa tahun kebelakangan nie, dunia sibuk memperkatakan 2012 akan kiamat..siap ada iklan shampoo rambut berkelumumur bermodelkan perempuan seksi bercakap tentang kiamat..tak relevant langsung..

Tapi sebagai umat Islam, tak leh la nak caya yang kiamat pasti pada 2012 sebab itu hak Allah..

But, YES, kiamat PASTI berlaku by ANYTIME..

Dari Nu'aim bin Hammad meriwayatkan dengan sabdanya bahawa Rasulullah saw bersabda. "

Bila telah muncul suara di bulan Ramadhan, maka akan terjadi huru hara di bulan Syawwal. .. kami bertanya: "Suara apakah, ya Rasulullah?"... Beliau menjawab : "Suara keras di pertengahan bulan Ramadhan, pada malam Jum'at akan muncul suara keras yang membangunkan orang dari tidur, menjadikan orang yang berdiri jatuh terduduk, para gadis keluar rumahnya, pada malam Jum'at di tahun terjadinya banyak gempa bumi. Jika kalian telah melaksanakan shalat Subuh pada hari jum'at, masuklah kalian ke dalam rumah kalian, tutuplah pintu2nya, sumbatlah lubang2nya, dan selimutkah diri kalian, sumbatlah telinga kalian. Jika kalian merasakan adanya suara menggelegar, maka bersujudlah kalian kepada Allah dan ucapkanlah Makasuci Al-Quddus, mahasuci Al-Quddus, Rabb kami Al-Quddus, kerana barangsiap melakukan hal itu akan selamat. tetapi barangsiapa yang tidak melakukan hal itu kan binasa"

Suara keras tersebut adalah suara malaikat dari langit yang bertujuan untuk memberi peringatan dan amaran kepada sekalian manusia tentang akan kemunculan Al Mahdi dan juga Al-Masihi Ad-Dajal

Have we prepare our self?

Are we prepared enough to meet our creator?

Are we piety by virtue enough of being a pious Muslim?

Ask..ask..ask.... and you will find the correct answers which will be more to No

Why?

Kebanyakan sangat sibuk dengan hal duniawi yang kadang2 more to lagha.. suruhan Allah jatuh tangga ke dua..tu pun jika tangga kedua, banyaknya dah bertangga2 di bawah sana nuunn.. acapkali buat2 lupa atau memang terlupa terus dek hanyut dengan arus semasa

Nama/ pangkat melambung2 meletup2 di dunia tapi di akhirat hampir kepada zero..Ini pun kira bagus la hampir pada zero..buatnya negative? Lagi teruk jika kita sangkakan segala amal ibadat kita telah diterima oleh Allah tapi sebaliknya satu habuk pun tak de.

Ya, saya akui makin ramai dah menghampiri pada jalan yang di perintah dan ditetapkan oleh Allah..

Alhamdulillah..

Tapi sangat minor yang buat dengan seikhlas hati dan cintakan pada-Nya. Banyak yang buat sebab mak/ayah/ suami/ isteri/ tok/ nenek/ kawan/jiran dan sebagainya suruh , takut org mengata ke, dan yang paling banyak adalah nak menunjuk dan nak orang lain puji sambil tuan yang empunya badan mendabik dada akulah baik, akulah alim.

Lagi bosan jika ada yang sibuk sangat nak impress orang lain..Nie lagi satu masalah. Ramai yang sibuk nak PR sana PR sini..Nak semua orang suka pada kita.

Ada yang sanggup fitnah sana sini, bukak aib orang sana sini and yang kelakarnya, tidak lupa untuk memuji diri sendiri. Ya lah, nak mengaburi mata orang yang mendengar dan mengukuhkah fakta yang dihujah. Bila nampak mangsa dah terjerat dengan perangkapnya, dalam hati la la la, ha ha ha, kah kah kah ketawa girang, disebabkan orang yang dibenci bakal dihina, diherdik, dimalukan, di pulau dan macam2 lagi lah.

INGAT!Kita manusia tak terlepas dari membuat salah dan silap. It could be happened to you also.

Ada juga yang tak habis2 nak memenangi hati pasangan masing2 ataupun orang yang dia puja sangat dapat terima dirinya dan membalas kasih sayang yang teringin nak di curahkan.. pendek kata cuba ambik hati kiri kanan depan belakang atas bawah la. Memang bagus jika pasangan suami isteri mainly yang nak mengekalkan keharmonian rumahtangga masing2.. tapi kalau kasih sayang pada pasangan suami isteri melebihi dari kepentingan dan hak Allah, apakehei nya? Yes, at this stage, ramai yang denial. mesti mencebik mulut sambil cakap "kau apa tau? Laki pun tadak!mengharapkan laki orang!" --> Hihihi..sangat tipikal kan jawapan nie :)

Sangat kelakar bila ada di antara kita yang terpekik terlolong macam orang gila, hilang akal bila pasangan masing2 ubah haluan dan pendirian untuk menerima yang lain dalam hidup mereka. Ada jugak yang tido tak lena, mandi tak basah, makan tak kenyang, pagi petang siang malam dok termimpi2kan orang yang sangat dirindui dan dikasihi dan kadang2 cuba nak impress ambil hati sampaikan org yang di sebelah sana rasa annoyed, nak muntah dan rasa nak carot..

Ada kau buat macam nie tak untuk gain Allah punya kasih sayang? Tepuk dada tanya lah Iman..

Bukankah, Allah juga yang ada kuasa nak kurniakan kasih sayang antara makhluk-Nya? Jika bukan dengan izin-Nya, pakai sampai kiamat la tak akan jadi kenyataan.

Ya, Allah sangat suka dengan orang yang meminta2 dan merayu2 pada-Nya.. tapi banyaknya, mulut memang berdoa, pada masa yang sama masih mengamok, merajok, memberontak dengan keadaan yang masih belum berubah. Sama macam salahkan Allah pulak kan.

Hei friends,

Kau dan aku kena semak dulu diri masing2.. kau tu layak sangat ke untuk Allah kabulkan doa kau immediately? Check diri masing2 sebelum nak judge orang lain.. di dunia nie tidak ada judgenya melainkan Allah Azzawajalla.

Ada jugak sibuk komplen itu ini sana sini.. itu tak cukup ini kurang.. sana tak best..

be thankful la.. kan ker dalam Quran Allah dah sebut, lebih kurang bunyi mcm nie, Jika kita ditimpa musibah, jangan bandingkan diri kita dengan yang bernasib baik sebaliknya bandingkan diri kita dengan yang kurang bernasib baik. Then we will be thankful for all that we have..

Banyak aja certain people yang suka nak banding2kan dia lah ada family bahagia, dialah the best, suami/ isteri/ anak2 dialah yang bagus orang itu ini teruk, orang itu ini patut dipulau dan sebagainya siap beri pandangan yang hina sambil menarik pengikut supaya membenci.. sangat yakin yang Allah takkan turn your world upside down just like that.. Wake up.... KARMA man! KARMA!

Manusia akhir zaman...

Kita, sebagai makhluk Allah, bilamana makin hampir dengan hari kiamat nie, kena lah saling peringat memperingati.. bukan dengan cara hina menghina macam nie.. dari fikir tentang hal manusia, baiklah kita lumba2 kumpul saham di akhirat

Ingat, akhirat adalah hari perhitungan dan tiada perbicaraan dan tiada rayuan..

Neraka for the rest of our eternal life?

Imagine pun tak mampu inikan nak hadapi

1 hari bersamaan dengan 1000 tahun... Kau mampu?

Sorry la jika ayat aku nie agak kasar..secara tak langsung untuk memperingati diri aku sendiri..kasar at least all of us will take note. if lemah lembut lemah gemalai takut kita tangguh2kan dan pandang enteng

Aku harap sangat kita semua berjaya kumpul seberapa banyak amal kebajikan di dunia nie

Aku harap sangat kita semua punya hati yang tulus ikhlas suci bersih untuk beramal pada-Nya

Aku harap sangat kita semua tinggal lah apa yang telah ditentukan memang HARAM yang terang2 telah di sebut di dalam Al-Quran

Aku harap sangat kita semua bilamana di akhirat kelak, akan berdiri di belakang Rasulullah dan tidak tergolong dalam golongan yang mana Nabi tak mengaku kita umatnya (Kalau Rasulullah pun tak mengaku kita umatnya, kita nak menagih simpati sapa? yang boleh terima pun mungkin geng syaitan..berminat ke?)

Aku harap sangat kita semua dapat maaf memaafkan akan segala kesalahan yang telah kita atau orang lain yang telah lakukan terhadap kita (walaupun ramai aja yang pegang pada prinsip Forgive but not to forget yang mana seakan nak bawak prinsip bodoh nie masuk kubur dan bahaskan di depan Allah di akhirat kelak. Allah buat macam tu kat kau baru tau)

Aku harap sangat kita semua sempat nak bertaubat nasuha agar dosa2 besar serta dosa2 kecil di ampunkan sementara pintu taubat masih terbuka

Aku harap sangat kita semua tergolong dalam golongan yang di kasihi oleh Allah sentiasa

Aku harap sangat kita semua akan senantiasa mendapat Nur dariNya

Aku harap sangat kita semua diredhaiNya

Aku harap sangat kita semua mati dalam iman

Aku harap...

Aku harap...

Aku sangat berharap...

Ya Allah, Engkau lindungilah kami ini yang sungguh kerdil, yang sungguh hina ini. Kau ampunilah segala dosa hambuMu ini Ya Allah, Sesungguhnya Engkau Maha Pengampun dan Maha Penyayang, sesungguhnya kami ini berasa sungguh kerdil, lindungilah kami sekeluarga.. Aamiiinnnn ya Rabbal Alamiiinnnnn

Amin untuk kita semua ..... sob :(